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" I laughed "Anyway, bed young man, goodnight Paul."In the kitchen sipping my chocolate I cursed myself for a fool for reacting as I had to my son's comment, it wasn't even an offensive phrase, but it was one I had thought was a shared thing between my online lover and myself.The next day I saw Paul off to school then went about my daily routine, the same mind numbing routine of cleaning and baking that I had fallen into since the death of my husband. I'd been shy before his death, but it was worse afterwards, which was why I was so thankful that my son had introduced me to the net. Yet there were times, and this was one of them, when I wondered what could come of such cyber friendships, all the people I knew wore handles to hide behind, just as I did, I didn't really know them or they me other than by the topics we'd discuss or the daft games we'd play.Then there was 'Lover Boy', he seemed to be so charming, kind yet excitingly forceful in our cyber-sex games. He was also patient,. " He was almost intears the guilt must have been almost overwhelming. "And if you decidethat you want our marriage annulled I will understand. I realize that Ishould have told you before this but I just have not been able to getthe words out."All I could do for him was hold his hand and try to look encouraging forhim while all kinds of wild ideas raced through my head. I worried thathe was going to tell me that he was HIV positive, or maybe that he wasalready married and had three kids and a wife tucked away in Milwaukee;a wife that refused to give him a divorce. Or maybe that he had somerare exotic disease and was going to waste away and die a horrible deathin six months. I knew he was way to gentle to be an ax murderer, Ihoped."Baby what's the matter? You know I love you. I didn't marry you just towalk away because you have some big secret that you have been trying totell me. I cannot imagine what could be so terrible that you would beafraid that I would leave you, unless of course.
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